Love's Young Nightmare by SamanthaH

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Summary

Nathaniel Harker is an intelligent university graduate whose journalistic career is blossoming. Firmly focussed on the future, Nathaniel tries not to dwell on his childhood. When he was growing up, he lived in a sprawling Victorian manor house that his father had purchased some years before. His father, at the time a cynical businessman, had dismissed all rumours of a resident ghost. 20 years later, Nathaniel has not forgotten the haunting memories of his time there, and has no wish to ever return. But upon his inheritance of the estate, he feels obliged to return one last time. What is waiting for him? Is it as terrifying as he imagines?

Is this too cliche? Advice would be much appreciated.

Latest feedback

Hi Samantha, You write well. Of course, all great writers revise constantly. I believe this could go from good to g...
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Hi Samantha, You write well. Of course, all great writers revise constantly. I believe this could go from good to great. A start - show don't tell. Provide color and detail. What would add color? Details to show that he is intelligent rather than just a sentence stating that fact. What details could you incorporate? His credentials -degree from Oxford or Harvard, hired by a company at the age of sixteen to provide analysis? The list could be endless so I hope you get my point.

A good writer can take an old story and turn it into a completely new one, so it's not cliche if have your own perspe...
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A good writer can take an old story and turn it into a completely new one, so it's not cliche if have your own perspective, a new angle. It could very well turn into an interesting story. If you would like help with editing then please feel free to look me up.